Do you ever feel like nothing has changed in your life since last year and can’t get motivated to actually turn your existence around?
Maybe you feel constantly alone. You can’t focus on anything and quickly give up on every single project, goal or idea after a short period of time just because you think that you don’t have what it takes to succeed.
Probably you aren’t happy with where you are right now in life, of your degree, of your job, of all your past unwise decisions. And even though you are aware of wasting your time binge watching Netflix and being a lazy fuck, YOU DO NOTHING TO CHANGE!
But, the truth is that deep down, within you, you already know how to fix yourself and change your life completely. You know that your life is off-track, but you have no idea where to begin to untangle this mess.
I know man, it feels pretty crappy.
So, I want to give you three tips that I found genuinely efficient when trying to figure out what I wanted to do and change my life.
1. Stop saying “What if?” and start saying “I’ll try it.”
Life can be complicated. It can be simple. It can be debilitating or MAGNIFICENT. It can be happy or sad. Sometimes, life just tries to kick your ass and drag you down in the negative realm of your mind.
When you start saying to yourself: “Oh gosh what if I did that thing? Probably now things would be better.”
“What if I told that person my true feelings?”.
“What if I dared and followed my dream last year?”.
When you brood on the past and navigate the ocean of regrets, you essentially stop living. You get caught up in a whirlwind of negativity and odd emotions that will leave you with nothing else than pure confusion, frustration and anxiety.
Pondering on the “What ifs” and wondering how things would be better if you had taken different choices five years ago, or one week ago, won’t help you to figure out your true path in life.
What is really important, instead, is the way you REACT to your doubts and problems. You must realise that you can’t change the script of your past or fully re-design your future blueprint. We are not X-men, WE ARE JUST HUMANS (with its pros and cons, because…c’mon, it would be cool to have superpowers), and we can certainly take risks and see what happens.
I believe things happen for a reason. And it’s your job to figure out why they happened and to use those small moments of indecisiveness, curiosity, love, hate, happiness, sadness, glory and misery, as fuel to go after the things you want. It’s the things you accomplish, the “I dids” that define who you are, show your next step and shape your journey. We will never be able to let go of the “what ifs”, but at the very last, we are always in charge of our lives.
2. Say “no” to things that you don’t truly want to do
I’m not talking about saying “NO” to someone who need your help, or an exclusive party you want to skip. I’m talking about the yes you said to the things that you didn’t want to do in your life, the things that make you feel now unfulfilled and unhappy. The reality is that, often times, we say yes to things that apparently seem easier to do and achieve, we say yes to those things maybe because we are very very good at running away from big problems and difficulties. When you say yes to something you don’t enjoy, you’re explicitly saying no to something you love. When you say yes to a job you hate, you’re saying no to the job of your dreams. When you’re saying yes to an unhealthy relationship, you’re consequentially saying no to your happiness.
So there’s no secret here. If you want to change your life stop saying yes to things you don’t truly want to do. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. You do not have to please anybody because you only have ONE LIFE and ONE CHANCE to do all the things you want to do, experience and live.
3. Be true, be real.
Think about your life: Do you feel confident? Are your relationships true and genuine? Are you relaxed? Are you happy with yourself?
Often we wear a mask, a false identity to please society, our family and our friends. Sometimes this mask is necessary to peacefully walk through our day-to-day life, other times we wear it for pure convenience. But true change happens when you finally stop pretending to be someone else, when you stop being fearful of fully expressing yourself and revealing to others who you truly are.
You only live once my friend and you should work your butt off to make it count, to make an impact in your own life, in your community, in your parent’s life and most importantly, YOU MUST ENJOY YOUR LIFE.
Dance More to your favourite song.
This will remind you to have fun, to love and be loved, to open yourself up to the beauty of life.
So, let’s dance.
Finally, regardless of what you’re going through, don’t accept being less than you are capable of being. You may not know who you truly are or think you can’t do certain things because you have never done it, but it’s your responsibility to improve, grow and change. Once get into the habit of exploring yourself, your personality, skills and abilities, you will find out about special talents you have that you didn’t know you have.
So, stop saying “what if” and start doing, stop saying yes to things you don’t like and be true to yourself. Start following these tiny, yet powerful steps and look for the lessons this time in your life is offering to you.
And, don’t forget to breathe…because real process takes time. So, be strong!
Now I’d love to know: Do you ever feel like you are unable to figure out what you want to do in life? How do you deal with it?.
Important: share as much detail as possible in your reply. Many wonderful souls come here for insight and inspiration and your experience may help someone else to move forward in life.
(Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.)
Thank you as always, for reading, sharing and allowing me to express my ideas and be a part of your life. Love y’all